5 Crucial Lessons from Bad Managers: What Not to Do

Having held various jobs throughout my life, I’ve encountered many managers. When I reflect on the lessons learned, the most memorable ones often stem from the thought, ‘I wouldn’t do it like that.’ These experiences have shaped the kind of manager I strive not to be.

I hope that sharing these experiences may offer some inspiration, entertainment, or at least that warm, cosy feeling when you realise others have been through the same things—and that none of us are navigating these challenges alone.

Leaving People Out: The Importance of Inclusion

In my early twenties, I attended music college in Birmingham. The course ran over three days, and before long, I began sending my CV to local independent music businesses, hoping to find paid work within the industry. Eventually, I received a letter from an independent record label and music agency inviting me to meet with the manager to discuss my application further.

I was offered the role of 'A&R Assistant' with the company, responsible for booking gigs for a band currently signed to the label. This meant cold-calling music venues, universities, and festival coordinators—something I wasn’t particularly suited for (I hate making phone calls and am not overly fond of receiving them either). In hindsight, it wasn’t the ideal job for me.

At the time, I was struggling with anxiety, which later turned out to be the beginning of a nervous breakdown. I dreaded going to work and would count the minutes to the end of each shift. Thankfully, I got on well with my other colleagues, and we often went out for drinks after work to vent about our manager. During one of these venting sessions, a colleague asked why I hadn’t been at the work meal over the weekend. I explained I knew nothing about it and asked how it went and if our manager had behaved himself. She replied, “He was okay, but halfway through the meal, he asked if we all realised that you were gay.” I was relieved to hear that my colleagues had responded appropriately, saying something along the lines of, “What does that matter?” which thankfully shut him up.

Yes, he was a bigot—that much was clear. At that point, sadly, queerphobia felt like an unavoidable part of my life, so normalised by society and, in turn, myself, that it didn’t hit me as hard as the realisation that I’d been left out of the work meal. Simply put, don’t leave people out, and don’t be a bigot.

The Shit Sandwich Approach: A Recipe for Discontent

I’ve received my share of ‘shit sandwiches’ in my time, and I’ve certainly handed out a few too. A ‘shit sandwich’ is a feedback technique where constructive criticism is ‘sandwiched’ between two positive remarks.

Years ago, while working in Brighton, my line manager called me in for a meeting. Her demeanour made it clear she had feedback to give me that I probably wouldn’t like. She started with the positive, and I remember immediately thinking, “Here comes a shit sandwich.” While I understand why this approach is considered kind, to me, it felt patronising. It also made me question the sincerity of the praise—which I can’t even remember.

Celebrating our team’s achievements should be a regular part of workplace culture, with clear processes in place, such as supervision, positive feedback at team meetings, or feedback cards. Positive feedback needs to be genuine, meaningful, and given as it’s earned. While there are times we must give constructive criticism, hold team members accountable, or reinforce boundaries, this should be done with transparency, sensitivity, and humanity, following organisational grievance procedures. Don’t stockpile feedback to cushion future criticism or create it just to soften the blow.

The Power of Apology: Owning Your Mistakes

We are all human. We all get things wrong, take our stuff out on others, project, vent, cross the line, and say things we shouldn’t. We should all try to prevent these moments from happening through regular supervision, therapy, self-care, and self-awareness. But even then, there will be times we fall short—so it’s how we deal with these moments that show what kind of leader we are.

I have been managed by many who seemed incapable of offering a heartfelt, sincere apology when it was called for. I think the avoidance comes from fear of vulnerability or loss of power. Or maybe they were just never shown how to do it. In any case, apologising is an important way of showing your team that you are human, that you are imperfect, and that you hold yourself accountable.

So when you mess up, which you inevitably will:

Don’t say:

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“I’m sorry if my actions hurt you.”

“I’m sorry you took it that way; that wasn’t my intention.”

“I’d like to apologise” (and then not apologise).

“I’m sorry—I was having a bad day.”

Just say:

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, I messed up, and I’ll do better.”

“I’m sorry—how can I make it right?”

Ultimately, sincere apologies foster trust and show your team you’re accountable and willing to grow.

Personal Struggles Aren’t Just Left at the Door

I was working as a receptionist at a hair and beauty salon—a note to self: working in a place surrounded by full-length mirrors while struggling with body dysmorphia is not a great match.

At the time, I was going through a tough period personally, which was affecting my work performance. I was called in for a disciplinary after nodding off at reception—not my finest moment, I admit, but I was struggling to sleep at home. During the meeting, my manager reprimanded me, saying something along the lines of, “I know you have things going on at home, but when you come to work, you need to leave your problems at the door.”

Her response was not only lacking in empathy, but it was also unrealistic. None of us are robots; like it or not, our personal lives will inevitably spill over into our professional ones. Nobody can operate at their best all the time.

Context matters, too. Aside from this one incident, I was a reliable employee who often went above and beyond—covering for my line manager during her annual leave, implementing a more efficient booking system, and so on.

My manager was likely following HR policies to the letter, which I accept. But that well-worn phrase sets employees up to fail. Assert boundaries where necessary, but also offer real support for well-being—like mental health days, regular supervision, and opportunities to offload—so your team has a fighting chance to thrive in the workplace.

Plagiarism in Leadership: The Cost of Taking Credit

Quite a few of my managers have taken credit for others’ ideas and work. One manager, in particular, had a routine: whenever I or another employee would suggest something—a change in our processes, a new project, or a service—his immediate response was to say no. Then, without fail and not long after, he would present the idea as his own. You might wonder, “Why didn’t you call him out?”—a fair question. But it's important to remember the power dynamics at play in any workplace. Managers, whether the organisation acknowledges it or not, hold power over those they manage. Recognising these power imbalances is essential; only then can we see when power is being misused or disproportionately applied.

I didn’t challenge him simply because he held more power than I did in the organisation, and I doubted my concerns would be taken seriously. If you’re a manager, don’t take credit for others’ work or ideas. Acknowledge the power you have over your team and use it wisely—to lift others up, not undermine them.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I recognise I’m not always the leader I aspire to be. I’m constantly working to unpick the conditioning I’ve absorbed and to learn from both others’ missteps and my own. Leadership is an ongoing journey, one of self-awareness, humility, and growth, and I’m committed to continuously evolving into the kind of leader who uplifts, supports, and empowers those around me.

If you’re keen to learn from the lessons of poor management and develop a positive, empowering leadership style, Max Price Consulting is here to help. Together, we can build an inclusive workplace culture that values transparency, respect, and integrity—qualities every team deserves. Share your own experiences or insights in the comments below, or reach out to explore how we can work together to create a workplace where everyone thrives.

About the Author:

Max Price is the founder of Max Price Consulting, specialising in workplace culture development and leadership coaching, with a focus on kindness and inclusivity. With over 13 years of experience as a co-founder of Proud2Be, Max is passionate about helping organisations create positive, supportive environments where everyone can thrive.